Stop sharing...unless I already know you
Why do people I have never met insist on telling me things I don't need or want to know about? Picking up the Globe and the Telegram at a local convenience store yesterday, the clerk told me about asking for an ID from a guy who had been trying to buy beer a few minutes earlier. His response was "You've got to be freaking kiddin' me!" Of course, neither he nor she said the euphemistic "freaking".
Two things. First, why does she think I am interested? If this had happened just this once, I could ignore it. But it occurs from time to time, enough to be annoying. I must look like my day will be incomplete without tales of sales-clerkian tragedy. This is a look I will learn to eradicate from my repertoire of facial expressions. Perhaps Tim Roth can help!
Second, why is it okay to use the F word with someone you've never met? I hope it isn't the case that I invite this as well, and that it says more about the other person than about me. It certainly seems odd to me that someone I have never met would use that type of language and assume it is okay. This has happened a couple of other times since we have been at home, and I had wrongly assumed these were isolated incidents.
On the surface, this simply seems to be a manifestation of changing norms of acceptable behaviour. Societies change over time, sometimes for the better and some for worse. I saw this first-hand in Qatar, where the traditional is giving way to the modern in many ways, and upon my return to Canada where things had also changed during the five years we spent, for the most part, in the Gulf. In both countries it is easier to debate whether the overall shift in the culture has been good or bad than it is to declare which it is. But if you look at individual issues you can readily make such a proclamation: more access to education - good, stifling of religious belief - bad, increased involvement of women in public life - good, disparities between rich and poor - bad, and so on.
Dig a little deeper, and it becomes clear that its roots lie in a self-centeredness that is both obscene and sad. Why is there no lack of volunteers to appear on Jerry Springer and similar shows? Why are there television shows whose sole plot line is someone’s addiction and a desperate intervention by their family? I think it is because we truly believe it really is all about us.
Man has always had an exalted view of himself. History, literature, the Bible, all are filled with examples ranging from kings to peasants. But I think our present age has more than its share of disproportionate self-perspective, manifested in public confession. And it is insufficient to claim that people confess because there is a means to do so (interesting, the vehicle is not a confessional but a pulpit). We revel in our troubles, in our victimhood, and when we are not doing that we relish the woes of other victims, and whisper to ourselves, even if we don’t know it, “there but for the grace of God...”
We need to get a different perspective, but it is hard to do that when we see ourselves as the ultimate in creation, or evolution for that matter. We need to understand that we are not the kings of the castle, nor are we the dirty rascals. So what are we? We are travellers, on a journey through life, and we are to discover what our purpose is. Why are we here? What are we meant to do? How does my life have any significance? These are the big questions we need to answer on this journey, not what travesty will be showcased on the latest talk show tomorrow.
What questions are you asking? And where are you looking for answers?
Two things. First, why does she think I am interested? If this had happened just this once, I could ignore it. But it occurs from time to time, enough to be annoying. I must look like my day will be incomplete without tales of sales-clerkian tragedy. This is a look I will learn to eradicate from my repertoire of facial expressions. Perhaps Tim Roth can help!
Second, why is it okay to use the F word with someone you've never met? I hope it isn't the case that I invite this as well, and that it says more about the other person than about me. It certainly seems odd to me that someone I have never met would use that type of language and assume it is okay. This has happened a couple of other times since we have been at home, and I had wrongly assumed these were isolated incidents.
On the surface, this simply seems to be a manifestation of changing norms of acceptable behaviour. Societies change over time, sometimes for the better and some for worse. I saw this first-hand in Qatar, where the traditional is giving way to the modern in many ways, and upon my return to Canada where things had also changed during the five years we spent, for the most part, in the Gulf. In both countries it is easier to debate whether the overall shift in the culture has been good or bad than it is to declare which it is. But if you look at individual issues you can readily make such a proclamation: more access to education - good, stifling of religious belief - bad, increased involvement of women in public life - good, disparities between rich and poor - bad, and so on.
Dig a little deeper, and it becomes clear that its roots lie in a self-centeredness that is both obscene and sad. Why is there no lack of volunteers to appear on Jerry Springer and similar shows? Why are there television shows whose sole plot line is someone’s addiction and a desperate intervention by their family? I think it is because we truly believe it really is all about us.
Man has always had an exalted view of himself. History, literature, the Bible, all are filled with examples ranging from kings to peasants. But I think our present age has more than its share of disproportionate self-perspective, manifested in public confession. And it is insufficient to claim that people confess because there is a means to do so (interesting, the vehicle is not a confessional but a pulpit). We revel in our troubles, in our victimhood, and when we are not doing that we relish the woes of other victims, and whisper to ourselves, even if we don’t know it, “there but for the grace of God...”
We need to get a different perspective, but it is hard to do that when we see ourselves as the ultimate in creation, or evolution for that matter. We need to understand that we are not the kings of the castle, nor are we the dirty rascals. So what are we? We are travellers, on a journey through life, and we are to discover what our purpose is. Why are we here? What are we meant to do? How does my life have any significance? These are the big questions we need to answer on this journey, not what travesty will be showcased on the latest talk show tomorrow.
What questions are you asking? And where are you looking for answers?
Comments
You know me - so I felt like sharing!!